Vanessa wrote “Notes on Virginia’s Childhood” shortly after her sister’s tragic suicide. Primarily written for their close family and friends, the memoir both celebrates and criticizes (though rather indirectly) the struggles and experiences that ultimately shaped Virginia, not only as a writer, but as a sister.
Through this memoir, Vanessa begins to reveal the dynamic of the relationship between her and her sister, which seemed to have been established early on in their childhood. As is the case in any family, each sister had their “role” within the Stephen clan. Vanessa, being the oldest sibling, personified maternal instinct. Virginia, on the other hand, often threw caution to the wind, knowing Vanessa would always be following close behind, ready and willing to pick up the pieces if need be. Vanessa writes about Virginia’s ability to create “an atmosphere of tense thundery gloom” when something didn’t go her way, and she also points out that she was the sibling that was always impacted the most significantly by those outbursts. Throw into the mix the fact that Virginia was prettier and more intelligent than Vanessa, and it becomes easy to see why Vanessa harbored some resentment toward her sister.
In this memoir, Vanessa makes sure to point out that she doesn’t “remember being jealous” of Virginia’s beauty, brilliance, or the ease with which she was able to interact with her elders. Obviously, Vanessa has some serious issues with selective memory. And we don’t even have to assume this, because she subtly hints at it throughout the entire memoir. She recalls instances in which her father’s friend, James Russell Lowell, would give all of the children coins from his purse, and Virginia would always get twice as much as the others. Once, he even gave her bird, which had the others beside themselves with jealousy. So, it is no big surprise that Vanessa envied her sister. If your younger sibling was more attractive than you, smarter than you, and more popular among your relatives than you, you’d be jealous too!
In all fairness, I do not think it can be said that jealousy was at the heart of this passionate and competitive sisterhood. Vanessa and Virginia were obviously very devoted to one another, beloved allies in the face of grave hardships including the death of their younger brother and Virginia’s bouts of mental illness that haunted her throughout her adulthood. They were intensely competitive, but due to their extremely different talents and personalities, these sisters were able to excel in different spheres of their personal and professional lives, allowing for a beautiful coexistence.
Your blog entry was very interesting! The reason for jealousy is evidently seen but the devotion and intimacy is also clearly depicted. I definately agree that they were "intensely competitive". However, their different talents with Virginia being the writer and Vanessa the painter not only allowed them to excel in different spheres of life, but also made it difficult for people to make comparions between them. They could never say that one was "better" that the other since they were both in different fields of art. They were a dynamic duo that brilliantly portrayed life through art!
ReplyDeleteI find it quite humorous that Vanessa made sure to say that she didn't "remember being jealous" of Virignia. I have a feeling that if that was really true, that statement would have been left unsaid.
ReplyDeleteThe last paragraph of the post does a great job hitting at the core of Virginia and Vanessa's relationship. They were sisters for better or worse. Although she is mourning her sister, her writing is sincere and honest regarding her relationship with Virginia. I agree that it is obvious that, for better or worse, the sisters cared deeply for each other.
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